Sunday, March 18, 2012

Aaaah The Journeys and Joys of Fatherhood

Yes as any father will tell you, that's in their child's life, there are journeys and joys. But I can only speak for myself on this. And the journey for me, which began at the age of nineteen, an age where we're still someone's child. Trying to find our independence and preparing to move from teenagers into our twenties and adulthood . Here we are, his mother and I teenager parents. After finding out she was pregnant, that's when the real journey and fear set in.  Fear, because if we handle this wrong, we can destroy and F  up three lifes. But thank God, we had the good sense that our parents had instilled in us, and great mothers who stuck by us in those tryin years. Now my fear was because, I didn't grow up with a father, he was around me up until I was bout five, than after that I could count on both hands how many times I saw him until he passed away. My brothers and uncles stepped up to fill that void, (that's y I say uncles are fathers in training) Mom did her best to shield me from as much heartache and disappointment as possible, but every once in a while, he'd call an I go running screaming "my daddy comin" and she would brace from the worst......and because of that, that's the reason, why I'm the way, I am today and why I once said at 15, if I every had a child, I'd always be in that child's life, and they would know me and my side of the family. So now at 19, I had a chance, to fulfil those words and promises with my 1st born. His mom gave him my middle name, and his middle name came from our favorite tv show.  After we bought him home, from the hospital, the first thing I did, was sit his mother and grandmother down and profess to them, that they'd never have to worry bout their child, that I would always be there. And till this day, I've always tried to live up to that promise....Because I never wanted, to have anyone other than them, tell me or take from me for my child. Now as time went on and we, his mother and I grew apart, we had our ups and downs, our share of arguments and drama, but nuthin like I've seen and heard in my life and it took up until he was five, when we finally got on the same pg, and every since then, I've had as blissfully and peaceful a relationship as humanly possible, now that's was the journey. Now here's the joy. I/we currently have a productive member of society, that we're very proud of...and in fatherhood thats all you can ask for, that your child grows up and makes something of their selves. And also with fatherhood, you must also understand it's a thankless job, that you will get no props, awards like they show on tv shows, mom is always gonna win, be celebrated and such, but with all of that, I can take pride in the fact. I didn't F  up, I stood my ground and we (his mother and I) worked together all those years. People I know, also say to me "you did a great job" or "I commend you for rising him".....Ok it's nice to know people notice, but aren't you suppose to take care of your kids? Aren't you suppose to do right by them......I'll never ran from responsibility a day in my life, but I can't take props because his mom and I had the old system. We still had the "village" help raise our child. In which I'll take time out to thank the "villagers" who helped from the grandmothers, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, cousins, neices, nephews and speaking of nephews, I'd be a miss if I didn't give those dudes their props, because without them, sum of that journey doesn't go when they were teenagers they were around me quite often.......MAN our stories and tales are legendary, OMG and I'm not ashamed to say, we grew up together. Because I learned just as much from them as I hoped they learned from me..... Their the ones who taught me how to text, use a computer, email, you name it they helped and never complained, when I asked them to show me over and over again and never laughed, when I asked what's the new slang or fashion was....Yes our own personal version of "entourage" as we call it, but I'll save those stories for another time......Soooo as you see these are my journeys and joys of  fatherhood..... Imjussayin. And I wouldn't trade a day, minute or second of it.......And this goes out to the "Entourage"(y'all know who you are) his mom, her mom, my BIG Brother( love ya & may he R.I.P. gone baby but never 4gotten still got your dogtags around our necks) Sis & everyone else who were down...(if you feel left out because I didn't shout you out, please blame it on the head not the heart, cause I know who was there back then, and they know too)       
I stop tryin 2 be "THA MAN" when I learned what is to be " A MAN"......K. G. CLARKE

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